Think Shank

Soooo.... As I was waiting in my friend, Sandy's car a few days ago, I got to thinking about my future...'n' crap.

I have come to the conclusion that my life is sometimes like a weird puzzle...and I am a retardedly shaped piece. As a retardedly shaped piece, I feel like I am constantly trying to find a place to fit in, in life. And I don't mean "fit in" in the high school way like, "OMG! I hope people like me..." I mean "fit in" in the way that, I am still trying to find my comfort zone/place in the world.... [Well damn, it makes sense to me...] There are just times when I feel like I'm meant to be somewhere else...doing something else, etc.


As far as school goes, I am officially changing my major. As much as I enjoy Graphic Design, the only reason I chose to make it my major is because I wanted it to be my fall-back career in case I didn't make it in film.(Not to mention, Job Corps would not fund my film education.) But, as time passes, I'm starting to feel more and more like Graphic Design isn't for me...not totally anyway. (Interning at a film company doesn't help either...it actually makes me feel even worse about the issue.) So, once this Spring semester is over, I'm going to get my certificate in GD, transfer my credits to El Camino and change my major to Film/Television (with Fashion Design on the side...for the hell of it).

Unfortunately, I'll be in community college longer, but I don't feel bad about that... As I've said before, I'd rather do it now, than when I'm trying to get my BA 'cause it would cost me more moolah...'n' yada, yada, yada. Besides, it would give me more time to save and work on my portfolio 'n' junk... It also gives me more time to research into art schools... I'm seriously considering the one in Atlanta, GA because I can double major, which kicks ass. So, yeah...Jazzmin the Retarded Puzzle Piece has a lot more "soul" searching 'n' sh** to do...

NE-wayz... On to another revelation: I saw this movie called Freedom Writers some time ago (with Hilary Swank)... It's one of those "white teacher goes to the ghetto and makes a difference movies", but I still liked it and it made me think. I realize that I end up liking movies like that because I know how it feels to have a teacher that opens your mind. Like, Mr. Sherry from Hunters Lane HS in TN...

He was the teacher that got interested in Graphic Design... Since I was (practically) the only student genuinely interested in it, he was always willing to spend extra time teaching me Photoshop 'n' stuff. No mater what retarded thing I wanted to do, he'd sit there and show me step-by-step. Then there was Mr. Brody and (a few of) the other teachers at the New Media Academy in Crenshaw HS (which was the only good thing about that damn school) that got me interested in Film. So yeah...

NE-wayz... Those movies make me think about how some teachers really can make an impact on your life. I think I would like to be a teacher... Not now though...and I'm certainly not gonna be all valiant and try to teach inner-city kids. I mean, when I'm done with my real career (whatever the heck that turns out to be) and want to do something more calm(ish) before I retire...then I'll go be a teacher, especially because I genuinely like helping people (to an extent)'n' stuff.

Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH AUNT TERESA for the iPod!!! It took me awhile to get around to putting songs on it, but now that I have, I'm soooooo happy. I forgot how awesome it was to be able to tune people out... Not having an iPod, after all, makes it harder to ignore Public Transportation douche bags.

And the book you gave me is awesome. I'm 1/3 of the way through it...


That's it for now....

Jazzy Out!