Celebrity Neighbors*

*sort of

Bobby Brown just moved in down the street from me. No - I'm not kidding. I met him tonight when I was out walking the dogs. Fortunately, his wife is named Diana, not Whitney, and neither one of them seem to have a crack habit. In fact, he's a career Army guy stationed at Fort Mac. FYI, that's where Aunt Sarah retired from.

A few weeks ago I met another neighbor - a Prince from Nigeria. Again, I'm for real, y'all. I saw him out watering his lawn one evening and he seemed friendly but afraid of the dogs. We kept walking. The next time I saw him he was a lot more friendly. He owns a limousine service and has XX cars and a Hummer limo and so forth (you can tell how impressed I was with all this since I can't really recall exactly what he said).

He had this lovely accent so I asked him where he was from and he said Africa. I was like, dude - that's a big place. What country? Maybe he figured a white lady in Douglasville, Georgia, would think Africa is Africa and be done with it. Not this one. So he tells me he's from Nigeria, gives me his business card, and I see that his first name really is Prince. And he tells me I should call him some time. "We could be friends. I will not cause you any problems," he says. This is after putting me through a quiz about every aspect of my life including all of y'all. He knows everyone's birthdays and shoe sizes, by the way. It was quite endearing. But no - I did not call him.