Divine Secrets of the Blog-Blog Sisterhood: November 2006

Lea Anna's Big Drama Moment

Lea Anna has decided to follow in her Aunty Suzanne's foot steps and shove a miniature pool ball up her nose. (okay Sis, it's not a crayon but close enough) After having her scream and cry for what seemed like forever while I tried tweezers and various other implements to get it out, I finally gave up got everyone ready for a trip to the ER at the local childrens hospital. Luckily Gary gave it a final try got it out in a gush of snott. And then she cried again that she had lost her ball! Her excuse - it just fell in there. Well, since she was sitting up the whole time during the alleged "just fell in there" incident I do think her explanation goes against the laws of gravity. That's not my question though. What I want to know is what the hell goes through their little minds when they do these things?! Seriously, I really would like to know!

Happy B-Day, Big Head!

On this day nine years ago, Leya Deickman was born. I don't know too much about her birthday, but in today's paper it said that she would meet an exciting "new someone," but she would have to be the one to make the first move. I'm about to call Luby and have her zip-tie Leya to the commode and serve her meals in the bathroom for the next nine years. We got Leya a Nintendo DS and some Hannah Montana hibbedy jibbedy, but she opened that along with a few other presents on the way down to Florida. I told her the next present she opens early is going to wind up being a box of beat-downs... she thought I was playing.

We're still grinding out here and trying to find a day off somewhere, but I'm managing to call home just about every day. Aside from lunch and dinner, calling home is how I've been making the days go by. Before long, I'll be home on R&R, then I'll be home for good... until next rotation. Until next time...

Private Major of The Army
David A. Wheeler Sr.

Black Friday

I started out my Christmas shopping so organized, which is so unlike me. I had researched the black Friday sales online early and brought along a note book with my super organized shopping list with the ads taped in and had my route all planned. Well, at 4:45am and 15 minutes to go before opening ToysRUs had approximately 150 people waiting to get in or maybe more. So I drove to Target at the other side of the mall and the had about half the amount in line but it didn't open for another hour. So I went back to ToysRUs, still in a happy holiday mood and ready to just grin and bare it. There were no carts anywhere so there I was in line jugging an armful of toys, having to pee really bad. I put the toys back on the shelf, drove to Michaels, clean restroom - and no lines! So my total holiday shopping so far consists of 2 art sets (I hope Daniel and Lea Anna will let me play with the pastels), 1 gingerbread house kit, 1 foamies art kit, a big roll of sparkly ribbon, and stuff to make a door wreath. I didn't get the $20 razor scooter, the $3 Candy Land game or the $7 1GB flash drive but I still have my sanity. Oh, and after I had given up I got my commitment letter from the loan company the other day. Time to seriously start house shopping! A Happy Belated Thanksgiving to you all and an early Merry Christmas too.

Orrifice of DOOM!

Jared Von Hinman of HeadInjuryTheater.com did a review about a comic series called MARVEL ZOMBIES and in it there was a certain frame that provoked...uh...DISTURBING THOUGHTS AND IMAGES.

Jared was then nice enough to take the words out, so that all could have tons of LUDE-CAPTIONING FUN!

I only intended to do 1 or 2, but it got addictive...

I stopped after 5 because everything else that popped into my head, though very funny, was SEVERLY HOMOEROTIC.

Holiday Festivities in ATL

Since we weren't able to convince any of you out-of-towners to join us for a Thanksgiving feast here, we're hoping to make up for the lack of family togetherness (not to mention good grub) in a couple of ways. Here's the deal:

We'll have Christmas Day dinner at my place. Everyone's invited, though I am expecting only in-town family and friends. So if you Tenneseeans and Californians are pondering a Christmas Day appearance in the ATL please let me know and we will set up accommodations.

On December 31st, I'll host (or should that be hostess?) the Second Annual New Year's Eve Extravaganza. I'd like to enlist the help of family members living in states where good fireworks are legal (Suzanne, Lisa) to make this a bit more of an extravaganza than last year, although cheering on our pitiful fireworks display was pretty funny. Everyone's invited. Suzanne has already said that she, Charles and Caitlin are coming. I hope the rest of you will join us - just let me know so we can figure out who's sleeping where.

Then, on New Year's Day, there will be Holiday Feast #2. I'm envisioning something like a Thanksgiving or Christmas meal. In addition, I am proposing a "Chinese Gift Exchange" INSTEAD OF bringing individual gifts for everyone. It will be a lot more fun and a lot less hassle than trying to gift shop for our huge clan, but that will be negated if you go out and buy individual gifts on top of it - so DON'T! You can read the general rules here - they differ just slightly from what we'd do. All you need to think about now if you, your significant other, or your kids want to participate is for each of you to buy or make a gift for about $15. It can be something fun, practical, beautiful or silly. You will have no idea who will end up with your gift, but the gist of it is that everyone will get a turn to either unwrap a gift or "steal" one they want from someone else who's already opened it. It's a lot of fun!

Lastly, in order to keep track of who's coming, who's staying where and who's bringing what, I will probably send out e-mail invitations from my calendar and I would like to ask that you respond to those so that I can better plan these gatherings.

Greyhound Adoption

I'm happy to report that KiKi, the 9-year-old (now 10) female I kept for several months, will finally be adopted. Her adopter is the woman who has been acting as a foster guardian - the fourth guardian KiKi has had since being rescued from deplorable living conditions on a farm in South Georgia. If you met KiKi you know she wasn't a gorgeous dog, but was one of the sweetest and goofiest dogs around. I saw her a couple of weeks ago and she was looking healthy and acting as frisky as a puppy.

sigh

Sometimes I really hate coming "home"...

I mean REALLY hate it...

I am especially tired of Grandpa's crap...

When he's not bitching for no reason, he finds other ways/things to do that piss me off...

I'm tired of having NO privacy...

Maybe I'll just stay at Job Corps and never come back...

DDR is Dorky Fun!

I went with Brian and the kids to Dave & Buster's last night and had a good time (almost) kicking his butt at air hockey and "dancing" with younger daughter Michelle on DDR. We had to wait a while for a total DDR freak to give up the game so we could play. This guy was such a maniac - he was playing at some expert level that made him sweat profusely and required him to move so fast it looked more like he was having seizures than dancing. When it became apparent to him that Michelle and I were about to go down in flames, he was right there - ready to shove us off and hop on again.

I bet Amanda, Liubinka and David are sad that the Austin D&B didn't have DDR so that I could publicly humiliate them, too ; )

Landlords are Evil

I am so mad I have to rant. Our front door frame is warped and has been sticking so badly since we have moved in that I have trouble getting in. I've spoken to the rental office about it four or five times, and they've sent their idiot maintenance over as many times and it's still broke. I told them the last two times that they need to send someone else because this maintenance guy does not know what he's doing. Well, this last time he pounded the door in and installed weather stripping and screwed it up so bad that I can not shut it all the way and it will pop open at random times. Gary even has trouble forcing it closed. Supposedly they were going to have someone fix it this Friday. Well, It's Saturday and the freaking door is still broke! Time for me to start looking for a good contractor because I am going to fix it at THEIR expense. I am absolutely livid.

Job Corpse early thanksgivin

Yesterday Job corp had its annual Turkey slaughtering dinner!
but for the most part it sucked. All of the side dishes were things way too weird for my taste, and knowing what the chicken sandwiches cause (evil gass and/or eviler diarrhea) I felt compeled not to touch the turkey. I ended up eating a couple rolls (which were huge) but they did have some kick ass cheesecake for desert and I loves me some cheesecake! I also thought I'd post a link with a TURDucken recipie for all those who have yet to start their birds yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXiMqRwdmWU

Cranberry Waldorf Salad & Other Stuff

Does anyone have the recipe for Grandma's cranberry waldorf salad? I lost mine again, and all the recipes I looked at on the web have (barf) mayonnaise in it - and no OJ (double barf).

I'll miss you all this Thanksgiving. Gary and I are looking for a minivan. If we can find an decent affordable one anytime soon, we should be able to come down for Christmas or at least some time during the Christmas holiday. Jazz & Adrian will probably be here too, I just don't for sure yet.

I have done absolutely no Christmas shopping yet - unless you count window shopping. Hey, I still have plenty of time - so far. I have had several craft sessions with the kids and will have a nice shiny tree this year, even though I'll have to sand blast the glitter glue of my kitchen table. If it keeps them from destroying the rest of the house, it's a small price to pay in my book. We made salt dough ornaments last week, but I rolled the dough too thin so a lot of them cracked. I probably should just buy the decorations since the price will be about the same, but we're having fun.

I hear that the cafeteria at our work is going to have a gingerbread house contest this year. It will be a lot of fun. The only problem is I have grand designs to build an absolute masterpiece, yet have very limited skills in this area. Only one other person in my group has ever even made one. Well, I have until December to learn.

Daniel found some new friends to play with and I've barely seen him all afternoon except to run in the house and either use the bathroom or gulp a drink down then run back out again. I had to make come in and eat a sandwich, which he inhaled in about 60 seconds. I want his energy!

I've got to run before the smoke alarm goes off. I must repeat again my often broken New Years resolution - though shalt not surf the net while cooking!

Veterans Day

http://military.discovery.com/convergence/mywardiary/splash.html?clik=netmain_feat1
This is a link to the Military Channel website for their show 'My War Diary'. Steve had it on the t.v. today and it's an awesome look at what life in the middle east is like for our troops. They actually film home video of the things they do over there, some scary, a lot funny, and this show airs it. It's really nice to get a glimpse of Iraq through their eyes, and it's definitely more balanced than the idiots at CNN airing sniper video from Al Qaeda. It was really heartwarming for me to see people who were at Al Asad, where Steve was, or at Camp Anaconda where David is, and I'm glad there is at least one channel that supports our troops.
I LOVE YOU STEVE, DAVID, AND RYAN!!!

Adrian is Legal!

You can vote, be sued, enter into contracts and buy cigarettes (the latter isn't one you are likely to to consider a privilege unless you all of a sudden experience a massive loss of brain cells). And, your mom can no longer tell you what to do...however she is also not legally responsible for your choices : O

Happy 18th Birthday to a smart, funny and sweet (sorry - had to say it!) nephew.

If the KGB Convenience Store was open I'd pop in and buy you a cake. I hear Red Velvet is their specialty!

Happy Birthday Adrian

Aside from today being Veterans Day - a memorable and historic event in itself, Adrian is officially an adult now. There goes the neighborhood! It's appropriate being as He's been adult size for the past 7 or 8 years. According to your horoscope " Whatever you do or begin today will bear the stamp of your individuality more than anything else. " Happy Birthday Adrian!

Barbara Boxer - born 1972
General George S. Patton - 1885
Jonathan Winters - 1925
Demi Moore - 1962

1 mo b day

On this day 23 years ago, Steve was born.
Also...
1775 - American Revolutionary War: The Continental Congress passes a resolution creating two battalions of Continental Marines (later renamed the United States Marine Corps) to serve as landing troops for the recently created Continental Navy. *(this is why he joined the Marine Corps-they have the same birthday).
1951 - Direct-dial coast-to-coast telephone service begins in the United States.
1969 - National Educational Television (the predecessor to the Public Broadcasting Service) in the United States debuts the children's television program Sesame Street.
And these people share his birthday...
1483 - Martin Luther, German protestant reformer (d. 1546)
1871 - Winston Churchill, American novelist (d. 1947)
1956 - Sinbad, American actor

presentation of DOOM!!!!!

Just last friday I finished my high school diploma course at job corp. I kind of regret it because now I have nothing to do until december when I start my trade. I didnt want to finish early because if I did finish they'd kick me off the computer and sit me in a corner all day doing nothing but reading lame books and staring at the ceiling. The last project I had to do was a oral presentation and I stalled that for as long as I could (about 3 weeks) before they made me do it by bringing along my career manager and the principal (CURSE THEM!) My presentation was on my buisiness plan which was for a convinience store called KB convinience. The project was really boring so I made it interesting by adding a bunch of comunist references to make it funny. First thing I did was change the name to KGB convinience (KGB was the russian equivalent of the CIA) and add a red star logo. I added a bunch of communist-ish products such as:

4x6.5 ft V.I. Lenin towels
GiM brand paper towels
Stalin brand milk (because of his hardcore milk mustache)
gorbaCHEX cereal
Galug energy bars
and tetris.

And our catch phrase was "KGB...because starbucks is crowded (and capitalist.) When I gave the presentation I omitted all the communist themes except for the logo and the name and, (unintentionally) the catchphrase. However my career manager noticed the catch phrase and made the connections and realized my store was part of an attempt to covertly make america a commie country and (because she has no sense of humor whatsoever) didnt really like it. I passed anyways and now most of the time I'm in my class is spent staring at the wall instead of watching movies on the net (except on rare occasions like this one.)

All I want for X-Mas...

So, a few days ago Mom told me to send her my Wish List for X-Mas and it got me thinking about what I want...

It was actually really hard because I don't REALLY want anything. Sure, there are a few movies and CDs I'd like to get my hands on, but I can live without THOSE. NE-wayz...

After a lot of thinking, I've decided that all I want for X-Mas is a pair of 14 (or 20) Eyelet Doc Marten Boots. If you buy them from Amazon.com, their price ranges from $100 to $120 (or something like that).

I know it's kinda pricey for boots, but the ones that I can afford (which run up to $40) always break apart at the heel after a couple of months. I need something made stronger and Docs last FOREVER. I've had mine (which have 8 Eyelets) for almost 3 years and I bought them USED! However, they are scraped to all Hell and the leather has stretched, so they're really loose. I'd like to think of New Docs as an investment of sorts. NE-wayz...

I tried saving up on my own, but a majortiy of my money ended up going to mine and Adrian's stupid phone bill...

If this was ALL I got for X-Mas, I really wouldn't care! In fact, if everybody put in $20 and didn't get me anything else PERIOD, I would STILL be happy! And to make things niftier, YOU wouldn't have had to spend that much... YAY!!!

---------------

14-Eyelet

20-Eyelet

Love,
Jazzy ^_^

T DAY

No, not Teresa day, Turducken Day!!! Since Steve will be out of the Marine Corps in the spring, I don't know where we will be living this time next year. That means I want to have a big family Thanksgiving dinner this year. I have a sparkly new KitchenAid and haven't been able to use it, so how bout letting me whip a few things up that are guaranteed to make us all get fat?

Turducken Recipe Link

I hear Mandy is considering making a turducken for Thanksgiving, so I just had to look and see how involved it actually is. Anyway, I found this on the web:

http://www.thesalmons.org/lynn/turducken.html

Maybe you should consider buying one?

This is Halloween! HaLlOwEeN! HALLOWEEN!!!

Halloween night was SO AWESOME!

Here are some pictures of me and my friends in our costumes!!!
-----------

ME=Mummy

Emerald=Evil Nurse
Harvey=Hobo Clown
Mike=Vampire

Nez=Octo-Attack Victim
(That's a purple tentacle wrapped around her
and, though you can't see them, she has tentacle
strangulation marks on her neck!)